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10
Jul

POEM: Corporate Vagina

CORPORATE VAGINA

Hail to you, great one, Lord of Corporate VAGINA.

I come to you, mighty Corporate Vagina
that you may bring me so that I may see your beauty,
for I know you and I know your name,
and I know the names of the 42 elements
of the Corporate Vagina, names of those elements if the office of genitalia,
who live on those who share evil and
gulp down the bold at the time of the quarterly review
in the presence of the CEO.

Behold the double lips of the labia, Corporate Vagina is your name.

Behold, I have come to you,
I have brought you truth,
I have repelled falsehood for you,
I have not done falsehood against account managers,
I have not impoverished any purchasing agents,
I have done no wrong in the Vaginal Corporate Headquarters,
I have not learnt that which is not,
I have done no evil,
I have not daily made in excess of what was assigned to me via email,
my name has not reached the offices of those in merchandising,
I have not deprived the account manager of their Vaginal Commission,
I have not deprived the manager of their large quantity Vaginal Bid,
I have not done what the VP’s detest,
I have not calumniated a vendor to their Regional Vaginal Representative,
I have not made to weep,
I have not commanded to kill,
I have not destroyed the food of the cafeteria machines,
I have not copulated on cold company property,
I have not stepped on the toes of other Vaginal Departments,
I have not violated Vaginal Company Policy,
I have not taken figures from the plummet of the scrolling spreadsheets,
I have not built a dam on flowing water,
I have not quenched the fire when it is burning,
I have not opposed Vagina in procession, in lesson, in domination, in flux.

I am
pure
pure
pure
pure.

My purity is the purity of
the recently hired white collar male
who hovers before you, Vagina,
smartly dressed because I am indeed the
flesh of the man who represents all men
who live in the sacred hole of Connecticut
in the presence of Vaginal Clocks, Vaginal Stocks,
Vaginal Options and 401K; Vaginal Investments and bonds.
I am he who saw the opening of the Vagina and took it
and nothing evil shall come into being against me in
the Land of the Corporate Vagina because I know the
name of the Package,
the Taxes of Venus Mons,
the Rising Inflation of the Labia Majora,
the Action Items of the Clitoris,
the Optioned Shares of the Vaginal Canal,
the Ceiling Cost of the Cervix, and the
Overall Benefits of the ultimate Corporate Organ,
experience, value judgment,
blessed portfolio, VAGINA, Box.

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